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His Voice Us Calls

Healing from trauma is a step-by-step process. In my own process, God has taken me through a four step process, twice. First complete rest and a steady diet of the Word of God, which slowly brought the trauma to be healed to the surface. Then, one trigger after another inducing the symptoms of (Complex) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a time through which I clung to Scripture as my very breath. Then, complete rest in a safe cocoon in which I could walk through therapy that required me to face the traumatic memories of my past and the lies I clung to in those moments behind safe, closed doors, where Jesus entered these memories and rewrote them in the truth. Finally, it has required a gradual reintroduction to triggers in real life, by going places that remind me of the trauma I have walked through. There, God has given me the opportunity to press through the fear and the pain I feel to find Him present with me and to internalize the truth He spoke over me in therapy.

During the most frightening and painful parts of my healing process, I have faced believers, who have both encouraged me forward into the truth, and others, like Peter, who have tried to protect me from the path of the Cross. Likewise, when God called me to leave my legalistic church to enter an extended period of cocooning and rest, away from a physical church building but surrounded in precious fellowship that God provided both locally and abroad, I also met with both truth speakers and with the enemy’s accusations spoken through fellow believers.

Our enemy will always seek to derail us when we are walking into healing and will most often do it, not through unbelievers, but through fellow believers. But even there we can trust God to guide us through to hear and do HIS will.

In my own healing process, Jesus has repeatedly spoken: “Get behind me Satan.” and led me further on the path He has set before me. He has helped me to hear His Voice above the naysayers, and to take a different path from the one I took as a teenager. With God’s help, I am now slowly and surely arising in the truth of my calling in Christ. Oh yes, I still fall back into pain and shame at times, but I now know: “for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again” (Proverbs 24:16 NIV). And just so you know: I have been on the other end at times too, as Jesus has turned to me, when I have pridefully tried to “protect” or “heal” others and He has said: “Get behind Me, Satan.”

I will never regret those terrifying moments that came as I chose the path of the Cross, because they are the moments that wrote truth upon the stone tablet of my heart. Truth that now tethers me as I choose to walk toward triggers of trauma again. And I will never regret the year and a half I did not attend a church, but met the church of Christ in my living room and the living room of friends. God truly knew the best path for me and always has. Even my Prodigal path He always purposed for good: to answer my childhood yearning to plunge deeply into His rivers of mercy and grace. I now know, He has never left my side and never will.

I pray that He will embolden us all to (continue to) hear and obey HIS Voice above all others. May we see His purpose threaded through our whole life. May He help each one of us not to become a stumbling block nor a vessel for Satan’s accusations levelled at our brothers and sisters. And where we fall into Satan’s traps, may He lift our eyes back up to Jesus, so that we can lay down the enemy’s accusations and take up our swords of truth. May we be ones who walk in the Spirit of truth and grace.

 

His Voice Me Calls

Rest, they say
Meaning well
They call me halt
Storms they’ve seen
Upon me hail.

And yet I hear
Your still small voice
Lead me come
Tread where waves
And wind me meet.

Voices hold me back
Sink my feet
Down into sand
Of fears and doubts
Surely reason calls me halt?

But then I see
Your hand outstretched
Beckoning my own
Not alone I walk toward
But Abba’s own, clasped and held.

Yes, the wind and waves
They lash and roar
But My Father’s Voice
Is stronger still
Winds and waves “Be still” He calls.

Tears my eyes now fill
My Father He hears and answers me
Hidden fears and doubts He sees
Spirit-led I cast and pour
My feet He treads toward the deep.

Oh yes, my victory
Rests not in reason’s claim
Nor in man’s safe berth
But in God alone
Abba Father calls me come.

Yes, I will rest
Upon My Peace
Upon My Refuge, Rock
His Voice alone
My shield and sword.

Psalm 62:7 NLT
My victory and honor come from God
alone
He is my refuge, a rock where no
enemy can reach me.

Galatians 3: 6 – 7 NLT
And because we are His children, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba Father”. Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are His child, God has made you His heir.

10 Comments Post a comment
  1. Dear Anna,
    Oh I wept as I read your words and listened to these songs this morning. I needed to be reminded of the beauty of our Jesus. And this last stanza is where I find myself so much right now:
    “Yes, I will rest
    Upon My Peace
    Upon My Refuge, Rock
    His Voice alone
    My shield and sword.”
    He alone is the beautiful One directing my path. He is making sure that I follow His purposes, and will call me back to His ways if I falter in my steps. Blessings to you Dear Friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    April 3, 2019
  2. Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem, Ana. It’s true that God calls us to rest. May we find grace to receive the rest He offers. Many blessings to you!

    Like

    April 4, 2019
  3. Athira #

    Anna,
    Thank you for sharing your writings with us.Who will accept us just the way we are..Only Him- JESUS CHRIST.He gave as the right to became His Children and pouring His love without any limits…All rejections are acceptance in Him.He is our great healer and a comforter that we can approach Him at anytime without restrictions..Call Him at the midst of your pains!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    April 4, 2019
  4. “Oh yes, my victory
    Rests not in reason’s claim
    Nor in man’s safe berth
    But in God alone
    Abba Father calls me come.”

    Amen! In God alone! And this: “Our enemy will always seek to derail us when we are walking into healing and will most often do it, not through unbelievers, but through fellow believers. But even there we can trust God to guide us through to hear and do HIS will.” Yes, it seems like the more we want to follow Him, the more the attacks come. But He is so good and gives us courage and strength.

    Anna, thank you so much for sharing even the hard parts of your story. It is encouraging to see how God continues to work and gives hope to others who are struggling.
    Blessings, love and hugs to you, dear sister! xoxo

    Like

    April 4, 2019
    • Amen. He is so good and faithful to give us the courage to do the right thing. Thank you for your sweet encouragement, Gayl.

      Liked by 1 person

      April 5, 2019
  5. I applaud your openness and vulnerability. I pray that you gain more healing in the process of sharing so deeply. Your poetry is a gift that brings me closer to God in the flow of your words and message that you share. Thank you, sweet friend, for the gift of you.

    Like

    April 5, 2019
    • Thank you for your sweet encouragement, Mary. It hasn’t been easy sharing, but God is definitely bringing deeper healing through it. So glad the poetry blesses you. God is so good to work through each one of us to bless each other.

      Like

      April 5, 2019

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