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Oh Yes, I’m Home

This is a vulnerable post I’ve been praying through, wondering what to share and what to withhold. But in praying and trusting here deeper, I’ve decided love is both grace and truth, is naming what wounded and broke me, because it is what God has used and is still using to transform my heart, to breathe new life in me. So, I speak of sins, my own and others, but only to His glory and His grace. To acknowledge that in Him, there is forgiveness and healing, peace and joy
For each one of us.

OH YES, I’M HOME

Thank you for my sins confessed
In sermons spoken
Thank you for the silence
Shunning truth You called me send
Thank you for the turning backs
When I reached out, just for one
Thank you for the stares and talk
Behind my back of mess and “evil” me
Thank You for the fixing prayers
Devoid of loving Father’s touch.

Thank you for the wind and waves
In trauma’s throes, my weakness
And my ugly sinful heart laid bare.
Thank You for uncovering
My pride and shame and stealth
Uncovering all my cruel of “fixing” man
And denying my own need for health
For healing hand and loving touch.

Thank you for now showing me
The ugly of my idol worship
Of claiming strength
That I might to the world belong
Not as myself but icy cold façade
Denying all my sin and need
Of turning those who truly love me
Cold away.

Thank You for returning me
To acknowledge You alone
To embrace the love
And grace and truth of those
Who daily acknowledge
You in me.

Thank You that there is now
No condemnation
For those who walk in You
Forgiven, free.

Thank you
For pressing me
Ever deeper
To know
And grow
And hear
Your heart in me.

To know
Your righteousness is
My only covering

To know
My darkness is
As light to You

To know
My weak
And cracked open all is

Chosen, treasured
Whole, perfumed sweet
In You.

To know You are
My great I AM.

So, thank you
For my Cross
For sharing in Your suffering
For privilege and honor
So undeserved
Your broken body
To my lips to take
Your cup to drink
In the presence
Of my enemies
At Your lavish table
As Your friend to feast.

My sins in light
You’re bathing
Oil of joy
Upon my head
I feel
For You’re restoring me
Rebuilding and now strengthening me.

All in fear and shame
I always turned away

I now turn to You
The God who’s breathing all now whole again.

You wrap my dark
In holy shining cloak
And call me Yours
You lay Your crown
Upon my head
As my knees bow low
And hands lift high.

Thank you for exposing all my thirst
For love, affection, affirmation,
For all I’m finding here in You.

Thank you for Your severing
For pruning branches of my ugly pride,
Fear and shame to burn
That I might here return
To rest in You alone

To abide and bear
Fruit in every season
Firmly planted
My roots are growing
In living water
Now to drink and bathe.

Thank you for Your loving like no other
For transforming me each day anew
In Your gold of worth to rest
For lifting me from mirey clay
Your countenance upon me shining
That I might know Your goodness
Your mercy ever chasing me

Oh yes, I’m back
I’m HOME
In Your House forever.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Thank You, Jesus, for this Love – for YOU – at work in me.

Did you know Bettie Gilbert and I have just released our first ever podcast episode for #treasuresfromthesands:

Treasures from the Sands Episode 1 – Our Home

Welcome to the table to feast with us in prayer, worship and fellowship at our Father’s table, as He delights in us. As He pours out His oil of anointing upon us right here in our daily trials of chronic and/or mental illness. For, we are loved. We are seen. We are known. And we are forever in His Presence and at Home in HIM.

I am so blessed to be linking this post up to Mary Geisen’s #tellhisstory:

 

4 Comments Post a comment
  1. Dear Anna,
    Oh this is so very precious today. These words:
    “Thank you for Your severing
    For pruning branches of my ugly pride,
    Fear and shame to burn
    That I might here return
    To rest in You alone”
    Just tears here, as He speaks those beautiful words over me now too. Resting in Him. Thank you Jesus.

    Like

    March 20, 2019
  2. You write with such vulnerability, truth, and strength. Your words bless me. I’m so glad you joined #TellHisStory this week.

    Like

    March 20, 2019
    • Thank you for your encouragement, Mary. Blessed by you.

      Like

      March 21, 2019

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